Question by Jenny: Am I truly that selfish and horrific of a daughter incapable of “rehabilitation” as my so-called friend claims?
A few weeks ago the worship band I belong to was invited by our sister churches in China to spend two weeks in August performing for them in various locations throughout the country. I was extremely excited and immediately said yes without first asking my parents. I’d intended to talk with my dad about it that week, but it was smack in the middle of exams and I was stressed out and he has been working really long hours, and the planning for his wedding at the end of next month has eaten up a lot of his time. I knew it was a major discussion, so I just thought I’d hold off until a more chilled out time. My family is well-traveled, so I knew they wouldn’t be worried about me going abroad, but I’m the only girl and the only minor in a band of really hot guys in their 20s-30s, and even though they are totally like brothers to me and we have platonic relationships, I knew my dad would be hesitant about me taking a trip with them and it would require convincing. In the meantime, the woman organizing the trip needed me to fill out some forms and submit a copy of my passport, and so I did. I received an email today that the tickets had just been bought, so that means that I’m now locked into going since they were bought in bulk and are non-refundable and non-transferable. I completely freaked out. A guy I sometimes IM with wrote to me then and I explained the situation, and even though it has nothing at all to do with him, he completely exploded. He said that I was a selfish, irresponsible child and that my actions were despicable and disgusting, and that he had no respect at all for me. I’ve told him about a few others things that I’ve done in the past, but it’s all pretty typical teenage stuff – nothing major like serious drugs, theft or trouble with the law. I’m a straight-A student, varsity athlete, dedicated volunteer, and for the most part a good kid who just happens to sometimes blow off curfew and do careless, juvenile things, but I’m not a malicious person at all. He said that my dad should be ashamed of me, and that I deserved to “have my butt destroyed” and be grounded. He said that I had no respect for my dad. I actually adore my dad. We’ve been arguing a lot lately and I think he’s far too strict, but I have a tremendous amount of respect for him, and I don’t think occasional teenage rebellion and antics makes him feel like I don’t love him.    Read more...